Mr. Shoe

It’s been exactly a year since I put on that pair. It was not love at first sight. It was not the heel I would kill for and not the style I would die for. But the moment I wore it, it veiled a story.

Our story.

I knew it.. I felt it..

The one that has sole that defines greater value, an impression of style and a heel that is regal and remarkable.

For my 80 and something pairs of shoe.

For those broken heels and soles.

For those pairs I glaringly cried for and let go.

For that one great pair I have desperately waited and prayed for.

For you.

For us.

I love you, JeromeChristopher.

And I will forever thank God for having you.

Happy 1^st Anniversary.

Cheers to more and more years!

13 Broken Pairs.

God bless the broken shoes, they led me straight to you...

It’s almost a year ago when I just stopped.

Got tired and told myself: “I’m done.”

I didn’t know what went through, but I suddenly lost my faith in trying and finding that pair with its perfect pair.

One day, I woke up and realized I am living with 80 pairs of shoes!!! It took me time and courage to once again evoke each pair. Each story.

13 broken pairs.

I decided to finally let them go.

Unleash the times I had in them.

Of memories built.

Of painful wounds that left marks and calluses.

But then, these pairs led me to that way where I finally let myself took chance again. Made me believe once again.. brought back my love (and addiction) for shoes.

It has been a long way, and finally I had the will and reason to honestly say to myself and to the whole shoeworld: “Hell yeah, I am happy!”

Down to 67 pairs after throwing 13 broken pairs, I am so back on track! :)

I am back to finding fabulous shoefinds again(Oh,and I’m back to blogging again.)

My real shoe story has just begun.

Making it happen.

Making it real.

Making it right.

Cheers to more and more shoes! ;)

67 pairs (and counting!)

if the shoe doesn't fit... THROW it!

*** This goes for that pair of sneakers i did try but lost its way to my feet. (i hope by any way you can read this:)

I AM SORRY.
I really do.
It is NOT my fault that you are too simple for me...
It is NOT my fault that you felt that way...
and it is NOT my fault that you won't ever fit in my sense of style and sensibility. ...

but I did try.. and i know that you know that..
and I am just so disappointed because just like that, you lost your way and you're gone.
Just like the other shoes i had, you hurt my feet.
I wanted to walk and stand in you but you are nowhere to find... and just like the other shoes that did not fit... i then have to THROW you and never look back...

LESSON LEARNED: I never liked wearing sneakers, anyway... why settle for LESS (or LESSER). At least i did try. (i know i did.)

Old Old Shoes

When you are currently an official B-U-M, you don’t have any choice but to go back home and be in that place where everything has started…And yes, this also includes blogging and suddenly comes up with a lot of ideas to write about. Waaah!!! But for me, it was actually a good time to see those old old shoes I almost forgot I had.

Seeing these pairs (again) made me remember the old times.

Old school.

Old stuff.

I laughed remembering the funny old times I shared with these shoes. I felt the dramas of the past. But all of these are now way beyond the life I have been and the life I have now. I admired that simple girl who used to wear these shoes. That girl who never stops dreaming, wishing, praying. That girl who still has the same simple ambitions in life. That girl who never fails to look back, because this is how I created my shoe story. I did not try to wear those old shoes again. Some were really old and rusty. Some I couldn’t even recognize anymore. Some I know have its own story now… but it’s nice to recognize that these shoes helped me create a beautiful life.

A fabulous shoe story I will never stop writing.

‘Til we meet again, old shoes! :) :)

A letter for my old Mary janes

Dear MJ,

Once a upon a time…

Your fit seemed perfect.

Our walk together made a mark and created a story.. a story that just kept going.. no ending.. (just how we thought)

For 6 long years you were just there in my box- - locked. And nobody dared to replace you, for I did not allow. I’ve seen and tried different shoes… different fit, different styles, different colors, different stories… but I always had reasons to look back… to still hope… to still wait… to still believe that once in my shoe life… our story will have another chapter… a happy ending… (how pathetic and desperate of me) Despite the pains… bitterness… of wounded feet… I still had reasons to try your fit and walk in you… I tried to let you go (God knows how I begged to help me let you go) but everytime I had the courage to do it, you were there again… tempting me to look back to the memories we had… to that story we once shared and tried to put an end…

and then, I got tired. Tired of trying the fit that won’t ever be perfect and right. Tired of walking in you. Tired letting my wounds and calluses be healed by time. Tired of you. Tired of us. Tired of that story that for now I desperately want to end. (may it NOT be a happy ending for us at all)

because this time, I have decided to try another pair. Shoes that are totally not my style, but my feet are looking and seeking for comfort. To once again believe. To once again love and be loved. To once again trust and be trusted. I want to take chances. Not with you and to our story without ending… but to that way to happiness that I want to believe I somehow deserve.

and this I ask from you… Please let me go… help me to find my way back to that place I almost forgot its existence. Help me to unselfishly embrace and enjoy its fit. This is my new shoe story and you are not part of it anymore. I have removed you a long time ago and kept you… but I think the best way to end our story is to finally unlock this box and allow my wounded feet to step again until I can stand and walk again. Until I can stride or jump again. Until I can honestly say: “Yes, I am happy!”

Thank you… for loving me this much (all this time)... You were forgiven for all the pains and anger and bitterness you caused me… our story will never be forgotten but this has to end. And finally (after the longest time, painful years and a very tiring walk…whew!)…

I am ending this.