Dear MJ,
Once a upon a time…
Your fit seemed perfect.
Our walk together made a mark and created a story.. a story that just kept going.. no ending.. (just how we thought)
For 6 long years you were just there in my box- - locked. And nobody dared to replace you, for I did not allow. I’ve seen and tried different shoes… different fit, different styles, different colors, different stories… but I always had reasons to look back… to still hope… to still wait… to still believe that once in my shoe life… our story will have another chapter… a happy ending… (how pathetic and desperate of me) Despite the pains… bitterness… of wounded feet… I still had reasons to try your fit and walk in you… I tried to let you go (God knows how I begged to help me let you go) but everytime I had the courage to do it, you were there again… tempting me to look back to the memories we had… to that story we once shared and tried to put an end…
and then, I got tired. Tired of trying the fit that won’t ever be perfect and right. Tired of walking in you. Tired letting my wounds and calluses be healed by time. Tired of you. Tired of us. Tired of that story that for now I desperately want to end. (may it NOT be a happy ending for us at all)
because this time, I have decided to try another pair. Shoes that are totally not my style, but my feet are looking and seeking for comfort. To once again believe. To once again love and be loved. To once again trust and be trusted. I want to take chances. Not with you and to our story without ending… but to that way to happiness that I want to believe I somehow deserve.
and this I ask from you… Please let me go… help me to find my way back to that place I almost forgot its existence. Help me to unselfishly embrace and enjoy its fit. This is my new shoe story and you are not part of it anymore. I have removed you a long time ago and kept you… but I think the best way to end our story is to finally unlock this box and allow my wounded feet to step again until I can stand and walk again. Until I can stride or jump again. Until I can honestly say: “Yes, I am happy!”
Thank you… for loving me this much (all this time)... You were forgiven for all the pains and anger and bitterness you caused me… our story will never be forgotten but this has to end. And finally (after the longest time, painful years and a very tiring walk…whew!)…
I am ending this.
